Hello there,
This week I tried a little experiment. While reading Chapter 20 from Beautiful Girlhood and digging into the same chapter in The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood. I pictured it from the perspective of your tween-age daughter. (Ha! This took some doing!) When the chapter was read from this fresh perspective, portions of it became a little tricky for me to swallow. I must confess when I read this chapter from that radically different angle; I got stuck on some of the particulars. For example, some of the verbiages of this chapter felt archaic. Giddy, gaudy (I still use this when it fits), comrades, and pocket mirrors, are words not heard much in our society today. Even the settings in the situations mentioned snagged and tripped up my attention. Most girls just don’t hang out at train stations or ride buses. There are exceptions, I know, but in general, this age of girls is driven to and fro by their mothers or in carpools. So the problem arises, how do we make sure your daughters don’t get distracted by the setting and the words and miss the rich, relevant advice found in these pages?
I suggest making the settings described pertinent to your daughter’s life experiences. While I have trouble envisioning today’s girls loitering around the train depot, I can totally see this same group of girls at the mall 70 some years later. (Mabel Hale wrote the original Beautiful Girlhood book in 1940) Every weekend at food courts, coffee shops, and cafes, you will see gaggles of girls. It takes only a bit of observation to find they really don’t have anywhere in particular to go. They are there for an afternoon of intoxicating freedom to roam, laugh a bit too loudly, cast challenging glances at young men, flirt, follow, and hope they catch the cute ones’ eye. I am sure you have seen this and I bet your daughter has observed this as well. No need to judge these young women, but use the situation as a way to teach about appropriate behavior when a girl goes out.
After you have made the setting easier to relate to, you and your daughter will be able to mine the unchanging riches of right, godly behavior. Ladies, there are so many nuggets in this chapter I don’t want you to miss a single solitary one! The relevancy and significance of the sentiments expressed in this chapter do not fade.
Desiring to walk in a way that brings honor to Him,
Activity
I know I am packing in a lot of preparation for you moms and your girls, but it is worth it! In preparation for this week’s study, mull over these themes from the chapter. Prayerfully consider if you would like to share them with your daughter.
- Appearances: A “good” girl might just be dressing badly, however, she will be taken at face value by most. We call this “judging a book by its cover.”
- Attire: Explain the importance of “public attire”. We have become such a casual country. It is now common to see a young woman going to college classes or the grocery store in their pajama bottoms! Having “public attire” lends a kind of protection when a girl goes out into public and is dressed modestly.
- Behavior: Now is a good time to review with your daughter how a girl behaves in public. What kind of message might your daughter convey by flirting, talking loudly, being boisterous, acting rowdy, or continually giggling give?
- Companions: Take a good long hard motherly look at the company your daughter keeps. Are you comfortable with her becoming like them? Discuss your observations with her.
- Conversations: In your daughter’s dialogues with the opposite sex, what do her words and her body language project? Could she be giving a young man the wrong idea about her intentions?
- Hanging out: Mom, evaluate the places where your daughter hangs out. Are they safe? Might you need to make some changes?
- Makeup: Define and clarify what is your family’s standard for the wearing of makeup?
- Read before your time together Proverbs 7 and Proverbs 31. Write down the comparison…you will be amazed!
| o Qualities | o Proverbs 7 Woman | o Proverbs 31 Woman |
| o Dress | o | o |
| o Speech | o | o |
| o Goals | o | o |
| o Attitude | o | o |
| o Effect Others | o | o |
| o Behavior toward Family | o | o |
| o Attitude toward God | o | o |
Memory Verse
1 Timothy 2:9-10 NIV
9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
Post and Ponder
- Here is where our group can help each other. What are some of the struggles you and your daughter have had in this area? How did you explain them? Were you able to resolve them? Do share!
Resources
Thought you might enjoy reading an article I found on the topic.
A Dad talks to his Daughter about modesty! http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2013/july/why-i-tell-my-daughters-to-dress-modestly.html