The Oils of Life – Chapter 17

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“The Oils of Life” is the phrase Mabel Hale uses to entitle this chapter and it is so descriptive of the unction our interaction with others must have in order to function smoothly. Before you and your girl undertake this chapter in, The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood, I want you to think about something. In our role as mothers, and also in the lives of our sweet daughters, we might have high ideals, grand dreams, be the most accomplished homemaker, the most skilled chef, and even exhaust ourselves by doing good things, but if we don’t have the oil of kindness in our lives, we won’t really succeed in light of eternity.

Friction in the Home

One of the most challenging places to slather the oils of life, at least for me, is in the home.  Believe me, I am not judging you, I am just saying, if we were honest we would admit that our families are, at times, the most difficult people in the world to be kind to because, well, we are with them all the time. An un-oiled life is similar to an un-oiled machine. There is friction, they run hard, and the maddening squelch of complaining or the incessant squeak of murmuring can be heard. Nothing runs easily…and everybody knows it!

Let’s discuss the five oils mentioned in this chapter so that you can be thinking about how to lubricate the interactions you have with your loved ones.


A squirt of kindness goes far, but it must be more than an air, it must go down saturating the heart and will then work its way into every action and thought. A kind woman knows that she is not without fault and will not use her mouth to hurt but rather her mouth to speak blessings to others.


The oil of manners alone is not as effective in the life of others as when it is combined with the oil of kindness. You see, even snobs and the hoity-toity of society can have manners, but true politeness, the kind that reveals inner character and strength, must be combined with the oil of kindness. The oil of kindness potentates, or makes stronger the oil of politeness and assists acts of civility to flow from the regenerated heart.

Kind Thoughts

Sometimes after a particularly difficult day, I like to take a long soothing bath.  I will put several drops of the essential oil of lavender into my bathwater and soak in the lovely essence. When I emerge from this time I feel calm and refreshed.  In our everyday lives, there are so many situations and interactions with people that are difficult and the friction can be palpable. Only through God’s assistance, can the supernatural oil of kind thoughts be received and then applied to the choppy seas of relationships.


This oil is more like an ointment and a remedy for everyday vexations. For most of us, patience is the number one lubricant we run short of in our homes!  For a mother and a daughter at home, there are so many opportunities to apply this oil. Most of us slather it on frequently and then before we know it the supply is depleted. The symptoms of an inadequate supply of this priceless oil are annoyance, crabby facial expressions, sharp words, and even a red hot temper.  A conscientious effort must be made to apply this oil to the trying moments in our day. This oil will not only smooth the rough patches but leave an undeniably sweet fragrance in its wake.


A drop or two of this oil is so effective in the daily vexations of home life.  When the oil of consideration is lavished upon every chaffing situation that arises, there will be an abundance of peace in your home. Consideration’s oil is expressed to others by thoughtful, deliberate, consideration of what the other person’s needs and desires are. There is one catch though; this oil must be deliberately applied to each and every delicate situation.

Essential Oils for Life

Dear friend,  there is only one place to get these soothing precious utterly essential oils and that is from the throne room of God. These oils are much like the manna of old which remained fresh and viable only for one day. In the same way, our patience, kindness, consideration, politeness, and kind thoughts go rancid so quickly if we do not renew our supply of oil daily. Forbearance cannot be generated by a wanting to, by willing it, or by just wishing. It is a supernatural anointing. Ladies, I urge you to run daily to the Lord and draw deeply from His unending supply.

Striving to maintain a well-oiled life,





  • Look up Proverbs 11:16 in your Bible.
  • As part of the memorization and meditation process, I want you to read what this commentator has to say about the particulars.

o   Wesley’s Notes: A gracious woman – A woman endued with the grace of God. Retaineth – Or, holdeth fast her honor, or reputation.

o   Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible: A gracious woman retains honor, or “a woman of grace” (s) one that has the grace of God in her heart, and is of a virtuous conversation, and is both amiable and lovely to others; as she receives honor or glory from them, which she deserves, so she retains the same.

o   Matthew Henry’s Commentary: A pious and discreet woman will keep esteem and respect, as strong men keep possession of wealth.

Realize ladies, that in order to remain filled with the grace of God, you must go to Him daily to receive it!  Make sure you seek Him daily to keep a fresh supply.

Memory Verse

Proverbs 11:16

“A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.”


Post and Ponder

Alright, ladies, it is self-examination time! What are the most difficult areas in your life to smear oil on?

          • Kindness
          • Politeness
          • Patience
          • Kind Thoughts
          • Consideration

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